Isn’t it ironic that I never met the man who gave me the most pleasure in all my life? But both my ex-husbands did? So who is this charismatic, charming, well-bred man of such character, intelligence, and grace? Mel Brooks, of course.
So let me tell you how it happened.
My first husband was named Ben-Bob. If you don’t believe me ask his second wife. We lived in a wonderful 2 ½ room apartment on Henry Street in Brooklyn Heights.
Now that was a long time ago, and in New York landlords were more honest back then. In contrast, today, you can’t trust anybody in real estate or anyone who owns anything in real estate or anyone who knows anyone who….
Back in 1958, you knew that 2 ½ meant 1 living room, 1 bedroom, and a small kitchen. In 1958 to call a room a room, it had to have a window. My kitchen had a window but the room was so small no self-respecting landlord would pass it off as a room. Of course now, there is no such thing as a self-respecting landlord except in very old-fashioned neighborhoods where people tell the truth.
Also, bathrooms didn’t count. The assumption was that every apartment had a bathroom and every bathroom had a window you could open after doing your business. You might want to use a little air spray but anyone entering the room after you left it, would back off quickly and murmur something about not feeling the need right now.
So anyway. It was late on Saturday night and the Sunday New York Times was available on newsstands. From anywhere in Brooklyn Heights, you could walk to the St. George Hotel where an enormous elevator on the ground floor would take you down to the IRT Clark Street station. There was an all-night newspaper stand there. It was the fashion for people to go there on Saturday night and pick up the Sunday morning newspaper. The next day, you went back and picked up the missing News, Week in Review, and probably the Sports section too.
That was how Ben-Bob and I had found this wonderful 2 ½ room rent controlled apartment for seventy-six dollars and change with an automatic renewal once a year. If you don’t know about rent control, Google it!
So it was about midnight on a Saturday night and it was time for his Book Review reading and my crossword puzzle entertainment before we went blissfully off to sleep.
It was a balmy night and no one needed a jacket. Ben-Bob strolled to the newspaper stand, picked up the paper, smiled to the sleepy newspaper man, and turned to go home. As he turned, he bumped into this kind of short stocky smiling fellow who apologized instantly. My hubby thought the guy was going to whip out a whisk-broom and sweep away any dust from his shoulders. As the small man was whistling and shooing away the imagined dust, Ben-Bob said, “Hey! Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
The small man stepped back, eyes wide open, and with o-shaped mouth said, “Hey! Sure! We met at that party.” He slapped my ex- on the back. Ben-Bob looked puzzled so the little munchkin said, “Don’t you remember? The party that Joyce and Schloyme gave in honor of their son Tyler’s Bar Mitzvah? Sure you remember. You even danced the hora with my wife!” Then he picked up the paper, turned to go, hesitated and called back, “Don’t forget to say Hello to the wife and kids.”
My first ex-husband walked down the street marveling at the number of loonies who were walking the streets and no one ever got hurt. He entered the living room, took off his shoes, suddenly shot up just like a Pop Tart and shouted, “My God! It was Mel Brooks!
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So life went on like that. He had all the luck. I had to wash his underwear. But then I got smart. So after another 9 years, we got divorced. So much for Ben-Bob, a sweetie if there ever was one. I miss him to this day.
But, I didn’t stay smart. I married an old, old friend from Brooklyn College and it was fabulous…for the first year anyway. Even before we were married it was heaven on my simple East 23rd Street house. So one weekend his brother had a friend who had a friend who was a dear, dear friend of this fabulous comedian Mel Brooks, and husband number 2, was invited for drinks. Just my luck, not only was Mel Brooks there, but so was his wonderful Annie. The irrepressible couple entertained all night long.
So what could I say? I hadn’t been invited. But I suggested that my latest hubby could wangle an invitation to go back. If he did, I never heard of it. So because of that, I don’t feel so friendly when you mention my 2nd ex-husband.
So I ask you…bubelah…Isn’t it ironic that I never met Mel Brooks but both my ex-husbands did?